There’s a Turkey in the Basement
And two very curious cats . . .
So, I confess, a line has been crossed. A line I did not foresee when I first wrote about Mean Girl. My crabby turkey is inside, in a cage, in the laundry room.
Last week began one of the longest cold stretches the country has seen in more than three decades. And Iowa wasn’t spared. Single digits during the day and numbers far below zero each night. We all know about cold temperatures, but the combination of prolonged extreme cold and a nearly ten-year-old turkey? Bad. Very bad.
I found Mean Girl outside her area last Thursday — eyes half-closed. I don’t think we got above zero that day. I didn’t know if she was becoming senile or hypothermic, but I put her back in her shelter, fed her, and added more straw.
As the day progressed, I couldn’t stop thinking about this jerk of a turkey. I got sidetracked when my computer froze — never to turn on again. The stress involved with that goes without saying.
I picked up a new computer that night. Hubby tried to question this decision, then saw the look in my eye and stopped short. Wise man. Feeling I was on a roll, I returned with one more decision made. Having a frozen computer was bad enough, but a frozen bird on the same day? Not an option.
“She’s not going to last the night,” I told him.
“Okay.”
“I’m bringing her inside — to the basement.”
Silence.
“She’ll be in a cage.”
He must have seen the look again, as he said, “I’ll help you set it up.”
Mean Girl bounced back almost immediately, although our basement smells like a barn. After I found a water bowl she couldn’t tip over, cleaning the cage became easier. I also learned that lining the cage with newspapers instead of an old blanket was better and that latex gloves were a must. Yuck. Now that I have it down to a science, it’s time for her to move out.
Observation 1: She poops a lot and sometimes drops it outside her cage.
Observation 2: She is a sloppy eater and also drops food outside her cage as she tries to “gobble” it down. (Pun intended). See video.
Lesson learned: Some of her poop resembles the cooked ground beef I feed her. It’s not a good idea to pick up brown blobs outside a turkey cage bare-handed. You might end up — well, you get the idea.
Mean Girl is stuffed and fluffed now — looks like a new girl. She’s going back out today as we’re back in balmy double digits.
For anyone thinking that Mean Girl and I have bonded over this close encounter, you’d be wrong. She and I have had a few staring contests, but I haven’t felt compelled to take my coffee breaks with her. To be fair, she hasn’t exactly gushed all over me to say “thank you” for saving her life either.
One day I may write the prequel to this story — about the time I put her in the trunk of my car to bring her into town. That, a cricket I found in our peaches, and a squirrel that got into our basement inspired a children’s story that starts out with:
There’s a cricket in the peaches
And a turkey in the trunk.
A squirrel broke through the window
And is dancing on my bunk.
It’s been revised, and the squirrel is now a “goat” as “squirrel” apparently isn’t a good word for a rhyming story, but I digress.
Epilogue: Sadly, Mean Girl passed away during another brutally cold winter in 2021. She was inside her shelter, nice and warm, but gone. We gave her a proper burial when the ground thawed. My prediction came true — I miss the old gal.
☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲
On a serious note, my heart goes out to the people in Texas who spent so many cold and miserable days and nights in their own homes, with some dying in an effort simply to keep warm. I’m glad the temperatures have warmed, but the effects will linger for months if not years. Hopefully, those in power will learn the lesson they should have learned in the 2011 cold spell, the lesson El Paso took to heart, and winterize their power grid. Meanwhile, they and their pets need our help:
Recently retired, Barbara was a telecommuting patent attorney starting in the dark ages of the internet, in late 1994. Initially, an employee of an out-of-state law firm, she also successfully operated her own law firm from home until 2019. She then became Of Counsel (the telecommuting kind), until she retired to focus on other types of writing, including her novels, picture books, essays, and public commentary poems. Barbara’s near-future thriller with speculative elements, POLAR DECEPTION, is out on submission. She’s also written a YA action/adventure coming-of-age story entitled CAROLINE’S PANDEMIC JOURNEY and is working on a cozy mystery series set in a SW Michigan beach town. Barbara and her husband enjoy life in Iowa with their two cats and their new golden retriever puppy, Charlie. If not already obvious, her Backyard Birding Days are over. www.iowareflections.com @prairiewind46 @prairiewind46.bsky.social
